Is Education a Race?
I eliminated certain words from my vocabulary for freedom’s sake.
When I created scrapbooks, the stacks of pictures caused frustration. How could I ever get all those images into albums? I’d never catch up. The negative thoughts robbed me of the joy of the process. Scrapbooking suddenly became a race against time. A race I could never win.
Instead of being stressed, I set aside the terms behind and catch-up. Scrapbooking was a hobby. I would simply finish what I could by working on it a few hours a week. My albums are still mostly empty, but I enjoyed putting color and texture behind a few memories. The guilt was gone and what I did capture will be special to my children.
I wonder if we need to do something in regards to education.
Homeschooling shrouded with guilt impedes the joy of learning. Are we doing too much or not enough? Is this curriculum a good fit? Would that one be better? Can we fit one more thing into our schedule?
Planning and judging are necessary, but most of our time needs to be spent learning not planning to learn and then doubting the whole process. Yes, there are learning thresholds. Yes, there are certain things our children need to know, but who determines whether they are behind?
Is education a race?
Education is important, but so is the child. What if a child doesn’t learn to read by the age of 6 or 7? What about those who struggle to learn? Should they try to push themselves beyond their capabilities to meet an arbitrary standard? Watching the backs of peers leap ahead, it would be hard to stay enthusiastic and motivated.
And what if your child is the one leaping ahead? Will he enjoy the rewards of diligence if lessons are always easy?
I propose that education is an individual thing. No one has the exact same knowledge. We all have different interests. The universe is immense, and we cannot know even a speck of all the treasures within it.
Perhaps, the race is really against ourselves. Perhaps, it is an internal measurement of growing in character and learning to learn.
Is education a race? Does every homeschool feel behind? What do you think?
Here’s what I struggle with. How do you teach a wiggly boy that it ISN’T a race? I find myself feeling rushed & hurried because I know I will have only a few minutes of his full attention. How do you teach that wiggly boy to value the challenge? The time involved in learning? Especially as it pertains to writing? He just wants to play legos and read books in bed. And when I see the infinitesimally small steps we are making towards letter formation, I start to lose the joy in the process & instead revert to the stress, the worry, the slave driver in me.
I so totally agree with you and yet I gave up scrapbooking altogether because I could never get beyond the disappointment of feeling behind. How does one really learn that slow down skill? Is it just a personality thing? Can it really be taught?
Daisy,
Very good questions. My son likes to race through lessons, too, but his attention span has matured with age. When he was younger, I just let him wiggle. During our first year of formal lessons I was very strict, but then I realized that he could practice answering his math facts pacing around the room so I let him. It sort of makes me dizzy, but he was more relaxed being able to move.
I, also, decided to view the time my son spends building Lego and reading on his bed as learning. It’s not the only learning that happens here, but it is learning. You should see what he creates! Talk about putting science into practice. ;)
I don’t know how I learned to slow down. I still have moments of terror when I realize how much I want to teach my kids, but I’d rather do short lessons consistently than cram as much as we can into a day.
My husband and I were talking last night about finding the “sweet spot” of teaching our children. That spot with just enough challenge for their level development and personality. It’s not easy and doesn’t happen every lesson. But he said it’s like driving a car. We make small course corrections all the time.
it helps me to see my kids’ education more clearly when i examine my own. when i consider how much more i’ve learned as an adult, i know that i cannot possibly contain what they need to learn in the 12 years i will be teaching them. the bulk of it will be done on their own time later.
Melissa,
Yes, I agree! If we give them the foundation of learning, they can do amazing things with it.
In theroy, I agree that it is not a race, but I tend to make it one by my comparing our school to others. We live in a super tough school district. The kids have to succeed. (I figure it is because they will never be able to afford their parent’s affluent lifestyle if they do not.) It causes me great conflict, though, when I hear all the things they are doing. Will my kids be able to compete with them in college? Am I doing them a disservice by allowing them to learn at their own pace and be children? Will my kids ever be able to function on their own and provide for themselves? I won’t know until the end if what I did was right. In my heart, I think it is. I guess this is faith in action.
Jenn
Jenn4him,
You touched on one of the toughest aspects of homeschooling; it takes so much faith. There is no guarantee of the outcome of our attempts to love and teach our children.
But we can see the positive outcomes of homeschooling. I am often encouraged by those who have gone before me.
I wonder sometimes if my kids will think I messed them up by homeschooling. But at some point they are responsible for their own life, their own education. I’m trying to give them the tools to embrace that responsibility.
I was just thinking that this morning when I woke up. “I have to hurry up and show them how to do…” Then I thought what’s the rush? Why am I racing to get this done? We can take what ever time the kids need to learn this.
Our society has put it in our heads that if you are not rushing here or there or trying to be first that there is something wrong with you. Sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere fast. I have to remind myself everyday to slow down and enjoy having my kids at home with me and to make every moment with them special and to stop trying to win a race that can really never be finished.
Rana,
Yes! Very good thoughts. What is the rush? Our education is never truly finished. We are learning all the time.
That is one of the reasons I like homeschooling so much. I get to learn along with my children. :)
Fantastic and very deep in the heart I think, what bothers a lot of homeschooling parents…I agree with Jenn and Rana.
I’ve never been homeschooled myself but a product of the public school and I find myself thinking “have to have to” on top of “concerned family members” imposing limits and deadlines.
We’re a product of a rat race society and I think we tend to subconsciously pass that on to our kids.
When we look around us..everything is “fast”, food, service, etc….we’ve lost the concept of waiting…even mail is obsolete with internet and text messaging, that we gotta get our news, now…if we don’t get it in less than 30 minutes..something is wrong.
It’s too…”have it your way now” thinking and the thing is…education is something that is developed, but look at the sardine mentality that some schools, not all, but a good portion of some ;p, have developed that the kids have to learn at the same time, rate, speed and level.
Homeschooling should be about bringing back the education and not bringing schooling right into our home…
For me…schooling is the image of everyone nodding their heads at the same time, education, is learning at the different pace, styles and not everyone, as much as we may want as a society try to push, will become doctors or engineers or scientists, and really…is it that bad thing that we maybe raising the next great artist, writer, or hey…even a pastor!
I think there is a subtle push for a perfect utopia where everyone is simultanously working at the same thing or thought that is not helping our kids..
ack…long comment..I’m sorry!
Twinkle Mom,
Please don’t worry about the length of your comment. You are welcome to leave posts here anytime. ;)
I don’t have a problem with school per se, but it really comes down to the methods used and the curriculum. The whole reason I even considered homeschooling was because of a private Christian school I had the opportunity of observing. I was so impressed by the character of the students and their ability to reason. We need more schools like that. Maybe our children will be the ones who reestablish that kind of education. :D
But even then, as you stated, there is no utopia. We cry for individuality and liberty and then squelch it by our very methods of education. We give students fill-in-the-blanks and call it a lesson. I think we can do better than that, but it does take time.
It takes time to listen to a child’s thoughts (especially if they think about Star Wars and electricity every day.) :P It takes time to teach a child to write. It takes time to research a subject. It takes time to reason.
And we can focus our time on those important things, instead of trying to cover every subject as fast as we can.
I can sooo relate–to the scrapbooking example AND homeschooling.
Thought provoking. Thanks.
When I see kids with skills or knowledge that mine don’t have, I tend to panic. There is a reason we are not to compare one another. It puts the focus on US. Instead of focusing on what my child cannot do, why not celebrate the giftings that God has put in the child we are wanting to compare to?
Jenn,
Excellent observation. It is so easy to compare our children to others, especially if they are always divided up according to age.
We can’t even see all the gifts God has put inside our little ones, yet it is our responsibility to help them discover all the treasures of being a unique individual.
P.S. I’m so glad our little, unique individuals get along so well. :)
Great question!
This is my biggest struggle as a parent, and not just as a homeschool educator. I keep looking at the finish line, a well-educated young person who is confident and passionate, and I can’t help but adjust what I’m doing to help them get there.
But, I realize that what I really need to do is just adjust my own mindset to realize that there will be failures, sprints and pauses; and that all of these help our children become whoever they will be. I can’t control all the factors that will shape them, and trying to do so only diminishes the enjoyment of their company in the few years that we are given before they move on.
Thank you for helping me to stop to think about this, and for providing an illuminating forum!
Great reflections. I’d rather think of it as not a race but a journey.
Merry Christmas!
I needed this!! I have been loosing the “desire” to homeschool. It’s hard to put into words for me. I guess its because of all of the “help” people try to give me. We have 2 daughters who have learning disabilities. Our son learns very well (and is the youngest)but holds himself back so he doesn’t make his sisters feel bad, therefore everyone tells me he is behind. We have taken much of the month of December and spent at the library reading books and doing activities. I have been filled with so much guilt for “not doing school”. BUT until I read your post. Thanks again for making me see that it is not a race but a journey.
Merry Christmas!!
I’m so glad I clicked on the link to your blog on Facebook!!
I’m refreshed and almost teary-eyed at the truths I’ve learned just from reading a couple of your articles and blog posts! I have a new and clearer perspective this morning as I wait for my children to get up and, as a result of good and Godly words from you, a new joy floods my soul at the realization that I GET TO bring up these children in the strength and admonition of the Lord, and I GET TO oversee this thing called teaching! Thank you for trying to use your gift for words to minister to others and to try and show others new ways!!! God bless you today, and I’m bookmarking your blog!
I linked to your article from Homeschool Classroom. Wow, what a profound article. In our homeschool, I have one child who is “ahead” one who is “behind” and one that is “on track.” While I try to give my “ahead” student challenging assignments, and work with my “behind” student to help him achieve mastery before moving on, I am often frustrated by the “educating as a race to finish, grade-level mentality.” My middle son has always just needed more time and my oldest has always been readier earlier for more challenges. But, my middle son has a multitude of gifts, not the least of which is a great artistic talent. Anyway, I’ve always felt so incredibly blessed that I am able to homeschool my kids and try to meet them where they are. Your post reminded me of that!
Samantha