When the Flood Waters Recede

May 16, 2008 – 1:47 am

Last week I mentioned looking for some motivation. Well, it came yesterday. It wasn’t a glorious light shining in my window, or a jazzy song giving me rhythm. It was a flood.

Drizzling rain was all that remained of the crashing storm the night before. While making waffles, the power snapped off. Then I glanced in the garage. Water flowed freely. I froze. My husband ran. His yell awakened me, “Call [our neighbor] to help me sandbag!” Bug shouted, “Mom, it’s coming into the house! Get a towel.” “A towel isn’t going to help,” I replied flatly. And it didn’t. Within minutes our moat/entryway was full.

I sloshed around moving the computer, baskets, and National Geographic magazines out of the shallow pond. Bug sprang out to help his dad, and Sunshine and Sweet Pea grabbed the laundry basket. Their boat sank, so they splashed and squealed.

Anxiety invigorated me. We battled the elements to save our house. The whole family worked together. The little girls watched with wide eyes and cheered us on. We filled plastic bags with dirt. Then the hole from my husband’s effort began to divert the water. He pawed out a trench. The river flowed in its new course. We swept water and opened all the doors. The breeze blew and motivation was thrust upon me.

Making Pottery

Cleaning the garage has been on the to-do list for months. The piles overwhelmed me: stuff to give away, broken stuff, memorabilia stuff, homeschool stuff, crafty stuff, tool stuff, and lots of garbage. Since I didn’t know where to start, I didn’t. Now the garage is almost clean. The doors of the storage cupboards shut. The laundry area is neat. The homeschool supplies are easy to locate. And there is lots of room for a pottery studio. I’ll be working in the midst of the lawnmower and dirty towels, but I’ll be working.

By Renae | Comments (8)

Confronted in the Clouds

May 13, 2008 – 3:13 pm

~written May 2 in an airplane over Texas~

Looking out a thick, oval window, I see the crawling, green moss of forests and muddy, streaked paths of rivers. Up here I sense my smallness. Millions of individuals scatter like ants from the mound. Can God really be mindful of each one? Is it true he counts the hairs on my head? It takes faith to cling to the promise of love, yet I ponder the evidence.

Wheatfield under a Cloudy Sky, 1890 by Vincent van Gogh
Wheatfield under a Cloudy Sky by Van Gogh

I am tied to this amazing world by something invisible. Forces I can’t see and don’t understand give me life. Each breath is taken in faith as oxygen fills my lungs. I cannot believe man is an accident, but are we really the crowning glory of creation?Crawling on this rock, our marks are visceral. In pursuit of fulfillment, we create, we love, we fall, we cry. Does anyone answer? Is our toil futile? Our contributions are for good or evil; the spirit lifted in hope or crushed in debauchery.

Soaring above it all, my soul is pulled to things higher than mere existence. My life is valuable to the ones indistinguishable on the ground. Their affection gives me hope. What is the origin of relationship? Love came from somewhere. Natural affection is powerful, but is it a glimpse of something greater? Is there a love stronger than death? I rest in the promise of a faithful Creator. He planted my feet firmly in the clay, but one day he will give them wings.

By Renae | Comments (8)

Just in Time for Mother’s Day

May 10, 2008 – 7:56 pm

While wondering how to wish you a happy Mother’s Day, I found a special offer mentioned at Lifestyle Education through Discipleship. Subscribe to Homeschooling Today’s encouraging email newsletter and receive over $300 in free downloads!

I wish this notice came with a fresh strawberry pie and a day off, but I don’t want to steal any joy from your family. I trust they have something special planned.

Happy Mother's Day from Two Children
Happy Mother’s Day

These are resources I’m looking forward to:

  • The Internet Scavenger Hunt- teaching kids computer literacy
  • The Growing Homeschool- ideas for keeping toddler occupied during school time
  • Me and My House Ministries- notebooking forms and samples of Freedom & Simplicity
  • Cursive Contemplations- a practice manual with devotions from Jeannie Fulbright
  • Simple Tips for Successful Home Management- hints to simplify your life and make the most of where God has you
  • Plus many more! Offer ends May 12th.

Here is the complete list and subscription form.

I don’t usually get very excited about downloads, because I forget to use them and dislike reading on the computer. However, one of the free resources is Ebooks! What Do I Do with Them All?

Michelle Geffken makes a compelling argument for the use of ebooks in homeschool and backs it up with tips that work. If you are interested in just this report download it using the link above. Enjoy!

By Renae | Comments (1)

Overcoming Perfectionism

May 8, 2008 – 1:22 am

I returned from my trip a number of days ago, but I’ve been trying to find my motivation.

  • I looked under the laundry pile. It wasn’t there.
  • I organized my bookmarks. Didn’t find it.
  • I transformed the sculpted bottom of a broken coffee table into a planter with a fancy black rim. That was fun, but it didn’t give zest for daily chores.

Washing Day by Pierre Edouard Frere
Washing Day

Is my perfectionism getting the better of me? How do I fight against my tendency to want everything just so? Just so finished. Just so in place. Just so organized. Lately the pendulum sways more towards apathetic than energetic.Angel of For the Sake of the Call wrote about The Curse of High Expectations. This curse haunts me, too. It slunk away, but returns to knock on the door. Can the monster be restrained? Not by me. In the follow-up post, His Grace is Enough, something powerful emerges.

So often my tendency is to feel like a complete failure and then determine to dig in my heels and get busy becoming a better wife, a more patient mom, an industrious housekeeper, super organized….

  • I just need to get up earlier and spend less time on the computer.
  • I just need to read my Bible more and pray more and exercise more.
  • I just need to ____________.

And then I fall on my face. The alarm goes off and I really intend to get up, but I’m just too tired or I plan to clean my bedroom and bathroom and re-organize the closet, but while I’m in the midst of it, the puppy chews up my shoes and gets sick on the carpet. Then I feel like even more of a failure.

The problem? I, I, I, I, I….

The question pounds again,

Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now perfected in the flesh? Galatians 3:3

Yes, I am foolish, but this verse from long ago carries hope. My life is not complete. I am not finished.

Expectations aren’t monsters creeping in the shadows, rather they remind me that my idea of perfect is external. I want the messes cleaned up and the bare floor covered. God wants to give me peace and increase my capacity to love. That is not something I can do, so I’ll endure in joy as my heart is stretched to uncover the shadows.

By Renae | Comments (18)

Mommy, Warrior Princess

May 1, 2008 – 9:59 pm

It is an honor for me to have PrincipledMom, Anna-Marie, as a guest today. Her writing always encourages me. Enjoy reading about her victory.

I must admit that for many years I had it in for the Proverbs 31 woman. She aggravated me with her seeming perfection, her attention to detail, her boundless energy. She highlighted my insecurities as a mother and a wife and I despised her for it. But the more I began to study about her, the more I began to think of her as a friend.

Mother and Child Enthroned with Angels by Alois Hans Schramm
Mother and Child Enthroned

My change of heart started with verse 10: Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The word “valor” didn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy. I sort of thought of it as saying “she is perfect.” When I finally sat down to look up the word in the Hebrew, I was excited by what I learned. It wasn’t about perfection, but about the mother bear in all of us.Valor means not perfection but protection. In the Hebrew it is the word lyx–strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army; strength; ability, efficiency; wealth; force, army. It is actually a masculine term of power and protection. Now that I can identify with. You do NOT want to mess with my family because you will have to deal with me. It’s not a girly image at all, but one of strength and might.

Then in verse 27 she is mentioned as “looking well to the ways of her household.” Looking well is the word hpc–to look out or about, spy, keep watch, observe, watch. I can also relate to her here because it is the idea that she is actually looking out for her family’s best interests and even looking ahead (as lookouts do) to see potential schemes of the enemy that have come to harm her family.

These two verses are almost a parentheses in the passage. She is strong from beginning to end and her family praises her for it (not for her endless housekeeping). I know her strength is found in the Lord, as is mine. These two verses shed new light on my perceived enemy. She’s a wife and mother like me, protecting in her own way, watching over her family and looking out to see what the future holds. She’s a mom like me who wants the best for her family and she does everything in her power to make sure that’s exactly what they get.

I will continue this study on my own blog over the next few weeks because I want to to get to know my new friend. There is more she has to share with us than just domesticity.

By Renae | Comments (5)

An Unexpected Miracle

May 1, 2008 – 12:37 am

The following is a guest post by Summer of On Wisdom’s Path. My heart is touched by her story. Yours will be, too.

In my second year at RHEMA Bible Training Center, a mission trip was planned to Tallinn, Estonia. As soon as I heard the announcement, my heart leaped within me! I did not have money to go on this trip, but I *wanted* to go and felt the yearning from the Holy Spirit to go. I stepped out, answered the call, and God was faithful! He even provided spending money for souvenirs. I knew God was going to do something big on this trip, I just had no idea the biggest change would be in me!

Harmony by Edna Hibel
Harmony by Edna Hibel

The Iron Curtain had come down in the late 80’s, early 90’s, but the oppression was still so heavy in the spring of 1996. Walking through the streets, there were no people talking, no children laughing. Everyone looked down going where they needed to go. There was a heaviness and we all felt it.The children at the orphanages were shy, and it was hard to communicate with them, even with the translators. But we acted silly and played games and sang. The children eventually joined in. We didn’t understand each other’s words, but our hearts connected. The “nurses” even began to smile and play with us. They invited us into one room to pray for the children and their parents. While we prayed and wept, one of the “nurses” came into the room and said that she could understand our prayers. We were inviting her into our family and she was saying, “YES!” It was amazing!

We went into a nursing home and met many wonderful people. Many of them were born again. One particular man was blind and could not speak. We gathered around and prayed for him. He started to rejoice because he could speak! He then opened the Bible and began to read! This man was changed forever!

Another miracle took place at an orphanage for mentally and physically handicapped children. My heart grew attached to one little girl. She was so shy she wouldn’t look at anyone. I sat on the floor singing with the rest of my team, and she came over and sat on my lap. The “nurses” were amazed!!! This little girl had not allowed anyone to touch her except one of the “nurses” there.

I can still she her face, her beautiful pale blond hair and her big round blue eyes. When it was time to leave, I grieved the thought of leaving that precious girl in an orphanage. I felt as if I was leaving my own child behind. Up until that point, I did not want children. This little 2 or 3 year old Estonian girl was used by God to break and soften my heart for my life’s calling! That to me, was the most unexpected miracle!

How important a call it is that God flew me across the world to get me to answer. He showed me I did have a mother’s heart after all.

By Renae | Comments (6)