My husband said I should go. I resisted. Ignoring the nagging in my heart, I called a friend about our homeschool co-op. Her husband, the youth pastor, interrupted with a question,
Does Renae need a ticket?
I said I’d call back.
Trying to stall, I opened the internet and stumbled across an article written by a young lady who spilled her heart in Africa.
My selfishness swelled and burst as tears spilled out of my eyes reading of her sacrifice, of her love. This single, young girl adopted 14 children. She had counted the cost and decided it was worth it.
As a young person, I told God I would go anywhere. I planned to finish Bible college then move another country.
He sent me here.
I never would have chosen this desert, but there is no doubt in my mind that I am here for such a time as this. This is my mission field. And the mission is not about the place. It is about the people.
So why was I shirking this opportunity to serve the youth in my church?
It was an inconvenience. My plans included relaxing on the weekend. Besides, Acquire the Fire is LOUD. I’ve cranked up the sound on Michael Buble’, but that just screams old.
I’d gotten really used to hanging out with elementary school kids. Don’t you have to be cool to relate to teens? Surely, someone else was more qualified, more ready, more able.
My heart was already so full. I didn’t want to open it up any more.
I was willing to give everything decades ago. Why not for this? Was it because it didn’t look like my youthful ideal of living in a jungle?
There was no excuse for the lies holding me back.
Yes, I’m coming.
So I drove my van full of kids to a conference. It wasn’t much of a sacrifice. I slept on a cushioned bench and stopped for coffee on the way to the auditorium.
It wasn’t even really all that loud. I enjoyed the concerts and the teachings inspired. My insecurities sloughed off as I realized anew how simple it is to love. My heart stretched. My prayers for this generation renewed their blaze.
More faces filled my widening view of what if means to minister here.
Was that the purpose all along?
Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest! (John 4:35)