Imitating Me
Frustrated with the continual mess. Frustrated with the lack of space. The constant purging. The constant squeeze.
I ask the little ones to clean their room and the whining starts.
Where does that come from?
Their words express what is in my heart.
I tell them if they can’t clean up they have too much stuff.
They see the plastic bag and the whining turns to screaming. I reassure my girls that I’m not throwing things away. It’s just…there is so little room. We need to store some things for the sake of sanity.
And I grow weary. Headache and heat mixed with the inner turmoil of a soul who craves order and beauty. I pause to pray.
The constant dilapidation into chaos happens in my heart, too.
Setting things right begins internally. It happens when I choose to lay it all down.
It happens when I choose contentment in the midst of chaos.
I remind my soul that this too shall pass. The things around me are temporal. I squint to see with the eyes of faith. Eternal beings are in my care. These precious souls need a good model to follow, but I fail. I wail. I flail.
Discipline is far from me, but can’t it be squeezed in to replace some of the messes within?
And when that happens, the external might just might match the internal.
And then my children will learn habits worthy of modeling.
6 Comments
Welcome
Thank you for visiting my record of reflections about biblical principles, family life, and home education.
May you find peace here.
~Renae Deckard
Subscribe and Follow
In Memory of Mattias
ChristianBook.com
Share
So true! I’ve been convicted about my habits lately. Thankfully, God is faithful despite my weakness.
Have you been watching me? How did you know what I’ve been thinking? So uncanny and yet special. Thank you for sharing. The frustrations can be so overwhelming.
Curious – are you doing more things outside? Do you have any good summer weather? I’ve read books about the women that lived in sod houses and did as much outside as possible. Praise the Lord we don’t have sod houses!
Jendi,
Oh, yes! I spy on you. ;) Isn’t it nice to know that we aren’t alone?
We are having fantastic weather! And we just got back from a week at church camp, so I’m good to go for awhile.
We are truly blessed in our small houses…
Hope you are enjoying your summer!
I need to remind myself constantly that contentment is a choice. Finding joy in this cluttered house full of chaos is what I am striving to do (thus the name of my blog!)
Here’s food for thought in the form of a poem…
What Did I Do Today?
Today I left some dishes dirty,
The bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before,
Are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall,
Will likely be there still next fall.
The dirty streaks on those window panes,
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today?
I nursed a baby till he slept,
I held a toddler while she wept.
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that’s true.
Unless you think that what I’ve done,
Might be important to someone,
With bright brown eyes and soft brown hair,
If that is true…I’ve done my share.