When words are not enough…

photo credit: notsogoodphotography

Our friendship is built by words, simply words. Emails, and Twitter chats, and the thing that first connected us, our blogs.

Sharing about our families and daily lives.

Discussing our dreams.

Helping each other with homeschool.

And now the words are simply not enough. My dear friend, Dana, lost her little boy this weekend. An accident that has happened in my own home took the life of a precious little boy. I have never met him, but my heart is in pieces.

Dana and I have tried to get together. We’ve plotted and schemed about meeting at Yellowstone among other things. And now I just want to be there. To love on this family in a real tangible way. Not merely with the words, because I have none.

There is nothing to say to comfort.

There is nothing to type that will make the loss less.

I imagine what the Hanleys are facing, and yet I cannot imagine the true horror of the reality. I squeeze my kids tighter. I think of all the times they could have been hurt. I think of Christmas without one of them and tears stream down my face.

There are no words, but there are groanings that the Holy Spirit understands. May He interpret their love in my friend’s broken heart.


If you would like to send a card, please put “Attn: Dana” on the envelope and mail it to:

Heart of the Matter Online

c/o Angela DeRossett

P.O. Box 13031

Offutt AFB, NE 68113-0031

If you would like to send a memorial gift, please send it to:

Tiny Hands International

21 Responses to When words are not enough…

  1. My thoughts have been with Dana and her family since you first posted the news on Facebook. I have not met her or even know her (other than she is your friend) and yet my heart aches and have woken up with prayers on my heart for her.

  2. I did hear from Dana last night, and she is overwhelmed by the support of her friends and family. That gave me great comfort. I trust their arms carry our love, too.

    • Nicole,
      Thank you for your grace. I hesitated to share what I wrote in a lucid moment between sobs. I’m so glad we are not alone, even when the internet seems so impersonal.

      You are a true friend.

      Words are an amazing gift…

  3. Thanks for sharing the address…sharing words on Twitter, Facebook and on blogs have seemed so inadequate these last few days. I’ve so badly wanted to reach out and hug this dear woman who I too only know with words! Thanks for providing a way for us to share our “real” selves with Dana. Praying for them today…..
    .-= Linda´s last blog ..Praying for Dana… =-.

  4. Renae, this post/tribute is beautiful. Your friendship runs deep and I know your words seem to fail in expressing your heart but I know that they must comfort your friend Dana. It’s just how the Holy Spirit works. Our words fail but He makes them avail in comfort and love. Peace to you my friend…

    • Summer,
      Thank you. Yes, I am putting my hope and trust in the very Maker of our hearts…He will bind up wounds and carry hope to the hurting.

      Love is for good times and bed.

      What an honor to carry a piece of another in our hearts…

  5. I was so shocked to read this…I’m just a lurker, but have gleaned so much from Dana. Could you share what happened? I’ll be lifting up her family in my prayers.

    • Rebecka,
      Dana will share more soon. She knows that everyone is wondering. I just don’t feel free to share more, especially in such a public forum. I’m sorry. I hope you understand. It was just an accident. No one is at fault. :(
      .-= Renae´s last blog ..When words are not enough… =-.

      • Thank you, Renae, yes of course I understand. And my asking was only for my own sake, not to assign blame…I cannot fathom what Dana & her family are going through and wouldn’t want to do *anything* to add to it. Please forgive me, I shouldn’t have asked. I will keep praying for them.

        • Rebecka,
          Oh, I’m so sorry for miscommunicating. I know your heart wasn’t to assign any blame. I was just trying to state what I felt I could in a way that would honor Dana’s family…

          You are not alone in asking, so please don’t feel bad. Seriously, you are not alone. Dana wouldn’t want you to feel bad either.

          We all want to protect our families, so it’s only natural that we want to understand and are concerned. Thank you for praying. It means more than the world…
          .-= Renae´s last blog ..When words are not enough… =-.

  6. Ranae,

    I have met Dana and her 4 (at the time) oldest kids. She and I have known each other for several years through the Christ-Centered Homeschooling list on Yahoo. One time when her husband (whose name has escaped me for two days now) was flying into Denver, she drove to pick him up so they could have some family time in Denver. She has joked with myself and my wife about various things over the years. And now that joking and laughter has come to an abrupt stop.

    I wish that I could take the time off of work so we could drive over (we’re now about 5 hours away). But, unfortunately, I can’t. We are waiting to hear more details regarding the situation and the funeral. Our hearts go out to our friend and her family. As you said, there aren’t many words that can console a parent who has lost a child. On her FB page & blog, I quoted a verse from Luke:

    But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. – Luke 18:16.

    It doesn’t so much comfort as it does remind that Yeshua (Jesus) has a special love for children.

  7. Renae,
    Thank you for your post and for sharing the HOTM address.
    I have no words and the tears keep coming. My heart is breaking for Dana and her family. I can’t fathom the valley she’s walking through.
    I pray that she feels the arms of the Father holding her tightly and loving her.
    She has blessed so many and has been a blessing and encouragement to me.
    .-= Shannon´s last blog ..Christmas in Mexico- Making Ojo de Dios =-.

  8. Pingback: {a very special prayer request}

  9. I don’t care what anyone says- bloggy friends are REAL friends. I couldn’t care about you all more even if you lived across the street. Our family has thought about little else since we heard, and I’m so glad that so many people have let Dana know she and her family are being lifted up in thoughts and prayers.

    It is good to reserve the details for Dana to share when she’s ready. We know all we really need to know anyway.

    Susan R
    .-= Sunniemom´s last blog ..Book Review – What is the Gospel =-.

  10. Ohhh, my heart aches for this mama, I’ve never met or read her blog before. On 12/1004 our 16 year old son left unexpectedly to meet his Savior, also an accident in our home. I know the pain they will endure . . .I know the fog and bewilderment they are in now. I am praying. If there is anything I can do, please let me know . . .
    .-= Loni´s last blog ..In ‘Other’ Words Whose Will =-.

  11. Renae, thanks for sharing this here. I wouldn’t have known but for your beautiful tribute. My heart goes out to Dana (whom I’ve not communicated with in a few years) and to her family, and to all hurting, bereaved mothers especially during this time of the year. May God grant Dana a deep, deep sense of peace that passes ALL understanding…love you.

  12. I’ve had my head down and been off Twitter since we came back from burying my FIL in September. Taking care of my MIL with Alzheimer’s has me completely wrapped up. I’m just now starting to slowly work through my RSS feeds… and saw this.

    There are no words. Thanks for letting me know.