One Income in a Two Income World
I groan inwardly when I’m promised tips and tricks to save money.
For the price of one gourmet latte’ a week, you can purchase this amazing _______.
I don’t buy gourmet anything. It is on rare occasion that I veer into Starbucks.
I budget for groceries. I save to buy curriculum.
I’m not complaining. I just realize marketers don’t get my family.
- In 16 years of marriage, we have rarely had a television.
- I cook almost all of our meals at home.
- We shop at second-hand stores and garage sales.
- Our home is small and still needs some, uh, cosmetic touches.
Early in our marriage, my husband and I decided to make all of our financial decisions on his income alone. That has not been without it’s challenges, but it has saved us from many pitfalls. It has also stretched us as we practice creativity, determination, and patience.
When I drive my husband’s car with it’s dents and hanging fender, I chant, ”It’s paid for.” Then I force a smile as the rattling begins and the wind musses my hair.
It’s not too hard for me to be content. I just have to remember we give up some luxuries in order to gain some other things more important to us: simplicity and freedom.
It’s okay to shed a way of life where wants often morph into needs. I don’t need a gourmet latte’, and I’m pretty sure I don’t need the latest, greatest, amazing product (or even last year’s model).
25 Comments
Welcome
Thank you for visiting my record of reflections about biblical principles, family life, and home education.
May you find peace here.
~Renae Deckard
Subscribe and Follow
In Memory of Mattias
ChristianBook.com
Share
When I feel myself growing discontent, I remind myself of the world…not just America…where people have dirt floors, one room, no plumbing, rice every single meal (if they have a meal), just the clothes on their backs. Then I feel oh, so rich.
When I feel myself growing discontent, I remind myself of those with poor health, wayward children, rocky marriages, mental illness, substance addictions. Then I feel oh, so rich.
When I feel myself growing discontent, I remind myself of those without Jesus Christ. Then I know, I am rich!
.-= Carol J. Alexander´s last blog ..The Finish Line =-.
Carol,
Thank you. I agree. You’ve reminded me that I define riches, first and foremost, as having peace of conscious.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
We are in the same boat. There are days it gets OLD. I would love to be able to take my kids to the dentist and not wince. I would love to have more than enough, but really, that is being discontent. I have neither riches nor poverty, so I have enough. (I keep telling myself.) And the Lord blesses us with clothes for my oldest from a friend, books from other friends, and good thrift stores nearby. It won’t be forever either. I suppose one day the kids will be on their own and it will feel like getting a raise! But, I am not in a hurry for that, either.
Jenn
Jenn4him,
I say that being content isn’t so hard, but it’s been a long process.
I was so frustrated with our last house. This one is, well, uglier and has a lot less potential, but I realize now that it will all come together in time. I’m much more patient this time around.
And yes, Proverbs 30:8-9 is an excellent reminder:
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
Amen, sister! We live in a very affluent area: half-million-dollar homes abound, new cars are the norm. It’s not uncommon to see Porsches, an Aston Martin, or even a Ferrari around here!
Meanwhile, we have plans to downsize from our already moderate 20+ year old home, & we’ve had only one car for about 2 years now — and it’s over 10 yrs old.
We do occasionally splurge on a Starbucks, but lately even that pricks my conscience. Just because I can spend that money doesn’t necessarily mean I should when most of the world lives on $2/day (or less) and thousands of children die daily from starvation, dirty water, or lack of basic medical care… I’m still figuring out what exactly this means for me and my family.
Anyway, thanks for this post, and you are not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes!
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Adoption Story- Guest Post by Anne-Marie =-.
Jamie,
Thank you. I am blessed by friends who live like us, so I know we are out there. ;)
I’m just thinking there is a reason we call how we handle our income personal finance. We make decisions based on our own conscious and our own goals.
Our consumer culture frowns at us, but there is very little stress about our finances. We’re not overburdened with debt. I don’t say that to boast. We have simply tried to obey the warnings in Scripture about debt. And graciously God has blessed.
It sounds like your family is very much like mine. We desire increase, not only for ourselves, but to have more to give.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
We have lived on one income in southern California for 12 years now. It has been so hard, at times, such as when our youngest was born and I didn’t know if we could afford diapers that week. But we have learned to do without. Not only do we not need the latest {whatever} gadget, we do not deserve it just because we may be able to afford it. We are trying to get out of the debt we do have so we can use that money to help others. That is very satisfying.
SoCalLynn,
I’m so excited you are working toward being debt free.
I think I wrote this post, because I am so wanting a laptop. However, we don’t have the money right now, so you are right I don’t deserve it. That mentality gets so many of us into trouble.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
Love this post, Renae. Our families seem to have made somewhat similar decisions.
I admit to feeling very annoyed when people say things like, “Oh, I’d love to stay home but we can’t afford it.” Or “We’d homeschool but I have to work.”
Those are choices that they are welcome to make but my staying home and the choices we’ve made weren’t made because my husband (a pastor) makes the big bucks (far from it).
.-= Karen´s last blog ..From the Commonplace Book =-.
Karen,
Thank you. I always hesitate to publish posts about finances, so I really appreciate your kind words.
I agree with Christina. If people make homeschool a priority, finances won’t be in the way.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
Great post, Renae. Our family has the same mindset. People wonder how we can support seven (soon to be eight) children on one income, but it’s a constant learning process about budgeting, being good stewards of what we’re given, and faith. When we needed a 15-passenger van, we prayed, saved, and God blessed by providing a great vehicle for about half of what we expected to pay. Our only debt is our house, and we have a five year plan to pay that off. Our goal is to be completely debt-free by the time our oldest is 18. We would love to be able to help our children have a good start financially in their marriages.
I’ve learned a lot about how to save money on groceries and clothing, and now I’m working on books. That’s my one big downfall. I love the quote from Erasmus: “When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.” Paperback Swap, eBay, used curriculum sales, etc., are some of my favorites.
September,
My weakness is books, too, but PaperBackSwap really helps me curb my appetite. Also, I view books as investing in my children’s education, and that is worth sacrifice.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
September,
I forgot to say, “Congratulations!” I didn’t know you were expecting. (Or if I did, I completely forgot.) How exciting!
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
This is so true! It’s all about choices and what’s important to you. We hardly eat out and most of our clothing is 2nd hand too. It is possible to live on one income and bothers me too, like your other commenter above, when people say they can’t do it.
.-= Sandpiper´s last blog ..A Birth Story =-.
Sandpiper,
Since it is a personal choice, I try not to be bothered by the comments. But I’ve learned not to think I’m going to learn any brilliant new ways to save money. ;)
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
Great post! We make many of the same lifestyle choices. It’s not so bad most of the time. I am glad I grew up poor…because I am able to handle things better when our income is less than expected and appreciate more those times of prosperity. I had a dear friend who had always lived well and then married well, she grew accustomed to a certain type of life. When her husband lost his high paying job, and they lost their home, and she had to move into a rental home (nicer than my home) and figure out how to feed her family of 4 on only $300 a month, she was distraught and had no idea what to do and acted as if it was the worst thing that could ever have happened to her. It was sad for her, but more sad for her bad attitude. It was not the worst thing that could ever happen…because I had seen worse and lived through it. I love this quote:
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
Melody Beattie
.-= April´s last blog ..Cute Condor Couple Moves In =-.
April,
Beautiful quote!
And yes, I often think of the people struggling right now. When my husband lost his job, I don’t know what we would’ve done if we’d taken out the mortgage we qualified for. We would’ve lost everything.
I realize that I am incredibly blessed to have grown up making do and getting by. How can we help those who don’t know how to do that?
Did you grow up in Idaho? Because I really do think my rural upbringing helped me.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
God has richly blessed us financially, even on one income. But we also live very frugally. Sometimes that is even more hard to do when you are doing pretty good financially. It can be tempting to buy some things you really don’t need, but we still live in a very small house, drive 10 year old cars, and spend little on food and clothes. We live frugally to meet other goals such as supporting several missionaries beyond what we tithe to church, and my husband puts a lot extra into his 401k and other options to retire early, spend more time with family, and have more time for minisitry-related things.
I agree that so many more families could homeschool if they want to, but I really think it isn’t that big of a priority for them. In many cases, and I know for some it isn’t this way, you can tell many families priorities by looking at their outworldly possessions. Money is not evil; the love of money is. God has entrusted us with different financial resources for his purposes. With more money comes greater responsibility, and sometimes that can be a hard task to handle.
Christina,
Thank you so much for sharing. I hadn’t thought of the discipline required to keep your lifestyle modest as your income increases.
My husband almost had a really good paying job, but it fell through. Now I think that was a good thing, because our mortgage would have been based that salary. Instead, we were a bit desperate and ended up mortgage free.
I always wanted to be a missionary, and as a young person made some comment about how everyone should serve overseas. My youth pastor said if everyone went to another country to serve there would be no one give financial support. That shut me up. ;)
.-= Renae´s last blog ..One Income in a Two Income World =-.
You’re not alone…
I remarked after Father’s Day that Hallmark probably doesn’t like us very much. My DD asked “What’s Hallmark?”. :)
.-= Denese´s last blog ..Wineberries- A Delicious Invasive Species =-.
I actually do need gourmet lattes. However my husband solved my Starbucks addiction by purchasing an espresso machine… for $5 from a yard sale. I am growing out of my princess gown and hiking up my overalls. :)
.-= Fifth Street Mama´s last blog ..Everything Including The Bathroom Sink =-.
I have to add my Amen! I also have to admit that giving up a gourmet latte is not hard – I don’t like coffee. :) There are other things, however, that I love that are extra.
Recently I just deleted all the frugal blogs from my reader because I wasn’t ever reading them.
.-= Jendi´s last blog ..My Pitiful Garden =-.
I love what you say… we gave up… to gain…
Thank you for the reminder that its ok to Give Up in order to Gain something even better… Freedom and simplicity.
.-= Jeannie´s last blog ..Up On The Roof Top =-.
Just thought I’d throw my $.02 in: I think it’s awesome that you two made that decision early in your marriage. We did it the “hard” way, and it will take many more years for us to get our financial “ship” righted after years of calling our wants “needs”. The downturn in housing and the fact that my husband’s work is construction certainly has helped us redefine “needs”. Downsizing is hard when you’ve lived life feeling entitled to things like cable TV and cars (with payments). Truth is, we were never ok enough to have those things, but we didn’t realize how badly we’d mis-managed our finances until things got bad. I’m glad to say our attitudes toward money and “needs” vs “wants” has changed dramatically. We now drive a beater van that has to be kicked shut, hubby’s 11 yr old car is paid off, and while we have old debt that will take years to eradicate, our only other debt is the house. God is faithful.
Hi, there! Just finding your blog–how lovely!–through Facebook.
This post is very timely. I sat down to the computer this morning to figure *how much* money we had to spend at the grocery store today. Today is payday. After the house payment, we have exactly $168 to live on (family of 5) for the next 2 weeks. That’s groceries, probably another $500 in misc. utilities and bills and about $400 in insurance payments, and everyone needs a haircut.
This. Is. So. Hard. Honestly not sure what we’ll do. Honestly not sure what God has been and continues to try to teach us.
Thanks for your reminders about contentment. We return to our knees, knowing God has a purpose and is faithful to complete the good work he has begun in us. ;)
.-= Mary @ The Writer’s Block´s last blog ..5 Steps To Starting a Money-Making Blog =-.