One Income in a Two Income World

I groan inwardly when I’m promised tips and tricks to save money.

For the price of one gourmet latte’ a week, you can purchase this amazing _______.

I don’t buy gourmet anything. It is on rare occasion that I veer into Starbucks.

I budget for groceries. I save to buy curriculum.

I’m not complaining. I just realize marketers don’t get my family.

• In 16 years of marriage, we have rarely had a television.
• I cook almost all of our meals at home.
• We shop at second-hand stores and garage sales.
• Our home is small and still needs some, uh, cosmetic touches.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I decided to make all of our financial decisions on his income alone. That has not been without it’s challenges, but it has saved us from many pitfalls. It has also stretched us as we practice creativity, determination, and patience.

When I drive my husband’s car with it’s dents and hanging fender, I chant, ”It’s paid for.” Then I force a smile as the rattling begins and the wind musses my hair.

It’s not too hard for me to be content. I just have to remember we give up some luxuries in order to gain some other things more important to us: simplicity and freedom.

It’s okay to shed a way of life where wants often morph into needs. I don’t need a gourmet latte’, and I’m pretty sure I don’t need the latest, greatest, amazing product (or even last year’s model).

The Importance of Making Memories Happen

My five-year-old girl, Sweet Pea, skips across the grass while her brother sails past on his bike with one flat tire. Around and around the park heads bob and smiles erupt. I glance around every once in awhile to see where they have scampered.

They enjoy the freedom to practice their childhood games. I enjoy the adult conversation.

Tears flow when we have to leave. As an afternoon of playing with her cousin at the lake etches into her heart, Sweet Pea shouts,

I’ll never forget this!

I never want to forget her response to the simple delight.

Since I like to stay home, it’s easy for me to forget how important it is to get out and explore. How important it is to create moments my children will remember. How important it is to simply be with my kids and enjoy them instead of pushing and pushing.

Yes, we need to do lessons. But what kind of mother-teacher am I? Tired, worn out, and grumpy?

Homeschooling is not just for my children. It is for me, too. It is an opportunity for me to discover the depths of my motivation. It is an opportunity to learn from the precious ones in my care.

The pressure is real. There is a weight of responsibility, but can I put the worry aside? Can I enjoy the moments so I never forget?

Pounding out words helps me remember, but capturing a memory is not the same as creating it.

An important part of my responsibility is to make memories happen for them, for us, for future generations.

What are your children remembering?

(Photos are from a Father’s Day hike in the Snake River Canyon. I neglected to take my camera to the lake.)

Becoming Available

My husband said I should go. I resisted. Ignoring the nagging in my heart, I called a friend about our homeschool co-op. Her husband, the youth pastor, interrupted with a question,

Does Renae need a ticket?

I said I’d call back.

Trying to stall, I opened the internet and stumbled across an article written by a young lady who spilled her heart in Africa.

My selfishness swelled and burst as tears spilled out of my eyes reading of her sacrifice, of her love. This single, young girl adopted 14 children. She had counted the cost and decided it was worth it.

As a young person, I told God I would go anywhere. I planned to finish Bible college then move another country.

He sent me here.

I never would have chosen this desert, but there is no doubt in my mind that I am here for such a time as this. This is my mission field. And the mission is not about the place. It is about the people.

So why was I shirking this opportunity to serve the youth in my church?

Comfort

It was an inconvenience. My plans included relaxing on the weekend. Besides, Acquire the Fire is LOUD. I’ve cranked up the sound on Michael Buble’, but that just screams old.

Insecurity

I’d gotten really used to hanging out with elementary school kids. Don’t you have to be cool to relate to teens? Surely, someone else was more qualified, more ready, more able.

Selfishness

My heart was already so full. I didn’t want to open it up any more.

I was willing to give everything decades ago. Why not for this? Was it because it didn’t look like my youthful ideal of living in a jungle?

There was no excuse for the lies holding me back.

Yes, I’m coming.

So I drove my van full of kids to a conference. It wasn’t much of a sacrifice. I slept on a cushioned bench and stopped for coffee on the way to the auditorium.

It wasn’t even really all that loud. I enjoyed the concerts and the teachings inspired. My insecurities sloughed off as I realized anew how simple it is to love. My heart stretched. My prayers for this generation renewed their blaze.

More faces filled my widening view of what if means to minister here.

Was that the purpose all along?

Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest! (John 4:35)

The Homeschool Swap- The Real Gift

My opportunity was on the way!

The opportunity for me to step outside of my introverted ways. The opportunity to open my newly finished and almost empty home. The opportunity to have company while my husband was so far away. 

Some would say it was foolish to let a practical stranger come stay at my house, but that’s the thing. Heather didn’t feel like a stranger. Even though we met only briefly at a homeschool convention, I knew her in a way I don’t know my own neighbors. I knew her through blogging.

photo by: Sprittibee

When I sent my first post into the cloud of search engines, I never imagined friendships would form. Friendships created not on externals, but on ideas shaped with words.

Even though writing doesn’t peel away our flesh, souls are revealed over time. And time is on Heather’s side. She has been blogging at Sprittibee for FIVE years.

photo credit: Sprittibee

I was so blessed to have Heather’s beautiful family in my home. They arrived late and had to leave early, but our time together was refreshing. Our children became instant friends.

I got to hold the baby while the boys chatted about Star Wars Lego faster than my brain could process the words. The girls enjoyed drawing pictures together.

The gifts Heather sent me for The Homeschool Swap are still making me smile. Many of the presents brighten my new kitchen: a cute towel, a stainless steel bowl (the perfect size for blogging munchies), a timer (which I really needed), and a cool magnetic spice container.

The artsy, handmade cards for each of my children were carted off immediately. Sweet Pea claimed the fairy wand, and Bug built the Lego set in mere seconds. Sunshine decided the CD was for her. She was not disappointed. Heather filled it up with pictures of the visit.

These last photos of our time in Texas brought tears to my eyes. She captured not only my children, but little glimpses of my house with new eyes.

photo credit: Sprittibee

The package was only a representation of the real gift: her friendship.

Thank you so much, Heather!

You can read Heather’s side of the story here.