My Offering

A whisper during worship service reminds me of little brown-eyed faces framed by black hair. I see sticky grins of toddlers and missing-front-tooth smiles of elementary children. I feel their hugs. I sense their pain.

Children whose cries are ignored. Children who can’t imagine a canyon created by a river when the only canyon they know is etched in asphalt. Trapped by tall buildings and poverty. Pounding to escape.La Noche de Los Pobres by Diego Rivera

Could I serve in a place like that again? Do I truly believe a tiny drop of love can crack massive walls erected by generations?

I do not doubt the efforts of loving my own three children. Motherhood is a worthy calling. I am grateful for the blue-eyes that beam at me every day.

But sometimes I wonder, is it enough?

Pouring my life out on a dirty kitchen floor somehow doesn’t seem the same as drenching hot concrete with my sacrifice. Yet this is where it continues.

My spiritual service of worship is a daily decision to lay myself on the altar as a living breathing offering. (Romans 12:1)

I can’t wait until I’m in the throes of tragedy to find what is acceptable to God. I need his mercy right now to sustain me in motherhood.

I need it to open my eyes to the little faces all around me.

9 Responses to My Offering

  1. I believe it is enough. You are impacting nations now. The future is in your hands. I am reminded of this as I read “Passionate Housewives Desperate For God”. One of the authors reminds us that when we serve our children, when we serve our husband, we are laying our life down for our brothers/sisters – there is no greater love. Another friend was encouraged in her devotional time to do these simple tasks well. They are a form of prayer. When you do the laundry – you are clothing the naked. When you cook a meal – you are feeding the hungry.

    Your offering Renae is beautiful! It’s a sweet smelling perfume to our Lord…

  2. I too believe motherhood is enough when the little ones are young. I feel if the Lord wants more from us He will place the callings on our heart and we will know when He is directing us to minister to others. In the way we raise our children today, we are in fact changing the lives of those other children tomorrow. By raising children who love the Lord and love others, and see through the eyes of love and not hate, we are in fact having a huge impact on the future generations for everyone.

  3. How true, Renae! I can completely relate! I was a missionary in the Middle East before getting married and having kids. It’s easy to feel like what we do now isn’t as “spiritual”, but it is!!!! Thanks for the reminder.

  4. Hello Renae,
    I just received an email from Twitter telling me that you are following me! So I wanted to come over and get acquainted. I’m very new to Twitter and I’m pretty slow about understanding how it all works,so any help you can offer will be greatly appreciated! :-)
    I love your title, “Offering” for this post. We are making an offering as we serve our families. It is so easy to become discouraged in our offering because we don’t always see the “fruit” of our labors. There are times though that the “fruit” pops out quickly and it is precious and full of joy!
    I have had my times of discouragement. I have 6 children. My two oldest are in college now and my youngest is a bright, energetic 2 year old! I have homeschooled each of my children all the way through…only by God’s wonderful grace can we do all that is before us, but if He supplies the grace, than it is enough! :-)

  5. Summer,
    Thank you for your eloquent comment. Caring for our families is indeed an act of worship.

    I agree. I guess I’m just being reminded of that calling. From my youth, I planned to be a missionary.

    My son spent his first months living with us in the inner city. His miraculous life was such a testimony to the neighbor kids.

    When my husband told them about the tiny baby who slept upstairs, their eyes grew wide as he explained, “He only weighed as much as two cans of beans.”

    Those children prayed for my son. God answered them. I wonder how he will answer mine. We prayed a lot for those children and for people to minister to them.

    Yes, God cares about our hearts. If I can’t serve my family with joy, what makes me think I will continue in joy in the most difficult places. This is our training ground. Let’s continue to stretch and grow.

  6. Karen,
    Thank you so much for stopping by. I look forward to reading more about your journey. It always gives me hope to hear from others who have homeschooled all the way through. And yes, I’m learning more about the amazing grace of God every day.

    I don’t know if I have any great tips about Twitter, but if you have questions I’m happy to answer them or find the answer to them. ;)

  7. Motherhood is its own mission field. But you are also serving us, Renae! And thank you so much for what you do!

    In Christ Alone, mel

  8. Pingback: Carnival of Family Life « The Expanding Life