I Quit Reading Better Homes and Gardens
The beautiful houses in glossy pages of magazines urge me to decorate. Curtains hide a few cracks, but they don’t cover bare concrete floor or holes in the wall. Our 1950s fixer-upper does not resemble Better Homes and Gardens or Pottery Barn. I am learning to accept it. Houses are just sticks and bricks embellished with fabric. Homes are made of something else entirely.
Home reminds me of frosting Christmas cookies with Mom, learning about car engines from Dad, and laughing during games of Monopoly with my brother. Love shines brightly even in misty memories of hateful words and wounded hearts. In family, hope endures and forgiveness stretches to cover most transgressions. These relationships forge early ideas of love for good or bad.
My children’s concept of home is forming in their hearts now. What am I communicating to them? That we live in a “fixer-upper full of roaches” as my son’s parody of Madeline stated, or that this is a place for us to live in peace creating sweet memories.
More than a remodeled kitchen, I want laughter to resound off the walls.
More than pristine flooring, I want peace to reign.
More than new furniture, I want love to engulf us.
Our house is far from finished, but our home is quite comfortable.
Those “Home” magazines are evil! :-)
I can’t sit around looking at those magazines, either. It’s too easy to get the focus off the relationships and onto the accessories.
Jennifer,
This actually started out to be about creative homemaking. I guess that will have to be a follow up post. :)
I took some license with my title, as my basket bedside the couch attests. It contains a small collection of Pottery Barn catalogs and a file of home ideas from various magazines. I just have to remember that what happens inside these walls is more important than what the walls look like.
What a great post! It gave me a lot to think about!
BEAUTIFUL sentiment!!
What a good mom!
I gave up BH&G years ago! :)
You make a good point. We just moved from our house of 19 years to a rental house. I was amazed at how easily we settled in here. The key is, we’re here together, which is all that really matters. We picked back up with our homeschooling routine and it felt like home very quickly, despite the fact that this house is not exactly Pottery Barn-ish ;)
Enjoy these years with your children–they go so fast!
Barb
Emily and My Semblance of Sanity,
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you were encouraged.
Barb,
I still indulge in house dreaming just not as often as I used to. :)
I don’t want to miss the time with my children, because I’m worried about the messes.
OK, that was fun. I got here through the link on my brand new advertising on Simple Pleasures. I thought I recognized the title from somewhere!
Dana,
Oh, that is fun. We are in the same network. Yippee!
Beautiful post, and so true. Houses are just places, a home is so much more. Thanks for submitting it to the Carnival of AHMs!
Hi! I’m here through the SAHM Carnival…
I agree with you completely. Not only do I have to stay away from magazines, but there is a gal who lives up the street from me and I struggle when I visit her beautiful, well-organized home! lol!! Her house is large and everything is just perfect…my house is small with not enough storage…but this house is the one that God has given us and I am fortunate. It’s great posts like this one that really encourage me to remember all that I’ve been given!
I;ll be back later to visit some more…I see you all homeschool. We do too!
[...] presents I Quit Reading Better Homes and Gardens posted at Life Nurturing [...]
Thanks for submitting your post to the Carnival of Family Life which I am hosting this week! It’s great to have you participating.
Have you considered hosting? Check out the hosting schedule at http://www.jhsiess.com!
Blessings to you this Thanksgiving weekend.
Summer,
Thank you. You put together a very nice carnival.
Jenny,
Contentment is such a fleeting thing because it is so easy to compare ourselves to others.
Perspective helps. A bigger, better house will not make me happy. It will just make my mortgage larger. :)
Hopeful Spirit,
I look forward to reading the entries. I am working my way up to hosting large carnivals. So look for me next year. :)
[...] presents I Quit Reading Better Homes and Gardens at Life Nurturing [...]
[...] were some good reads at that Carnival. Check out I Quit Reading Better Homes and Gardens at Life Nurturing Education. I like Renae’s take on what makes a House a [...]
What a great post! I’m living in a fixer-upper too and it’s liberating to let go of what has become so mainstream in perfect big beige homes. I even kinda like exposed concrete, no door trim on half the doors, etc…because my kids love this home! Roaches and all :) Love your site – i’ll be back!
I found this from the family life carnival and I had to say how beautiful you made this all sound! My house is a tiny rental that needs a lot more repair than I can give it, but it’s home. And that’s worth more than the entire Martha Stewart collection. LOL
[...] shares I Quit Reading Better Homes and Gardens from Life Nurturing Education, explaining that her house may not belong in a decorator’s [...]
I am with you 100%! I don’t need a showplace. I don’t need to heat square footage I’ll never use. I have nobody in my life whom I wish to impress. I have plenty of people whom I love and who love me and are welcome in my little place any time. That’s home.
Kids remember cookies and fun; they don’t remember the bathroom tile.
God bless.
Thank you all very much! It is nice to know I’m not alone. It is a struggle sometimes to live in peace, but our surroundings do not dictate our attitude.
Sandy,
I appreciate your statement, “I have plenty of people whom I love and who love me and are welcome in my little place any time. That’s home.” I feel the same way. If I am comfortable here, I believe others will be, too.
I’m so glad this post was included in the blog carnival. I regularly pop on over to simple pleasures but I’ve somehow missed you. Blog carnivals are really fun, and I’m looking forward to when you host one as well. I’ve been considering it, but I want to first learn what all is involved before possibly getting myself in way over my head. :)
[...] mortgage. Lest you think we eat excessively every day, we were blessed with an unbelievable deal on our ramshackle house. In the past, I succeeded in shaving a few dollars off our grocery spending by shopping sales, but [...]
[...] family tries to lives simply. We bought an ugly house and make lists of what we’ll fix someday. Dreaming about converting the garage and remodeling [...]
I found this post in your archives and just wanted to say I’m glad I read it. We have an old home with lots of flaws. People like to tell me it has character. The windows (17 of them on the first floor) are old wood-wrapped single-pane windows that used to have working rope pulleys. It’s drafty and cold in here during the winter. The plaster walls are cracked, some seem to be near falling down. The house is sunken and tilted. The carpet is threadbare and badly stained. I’m embarrassed by my house and don’t have people over much, especially not people I don’t know very well.
But my house is a home. My family enjoys spending time together. We cuddle on the couch watching movies, read literature for bedtime every night, make crafts, laugh and joke, and follow a few traditions.
I know someone who lives in a Home and Gardens type of house. It is hard not to feel envious at her house. It is big, gorgeous, and full of nice furniture sets (not mismatched in any way). However, I’ve had the opportunity to see their family dynamics. They both work long, hard hours and spend little time with the kids. The relationships are not good, especially with the teen. When I see them interacting, I remember that it’s not the house that matters and I can come back home grateful about the choice we made to focus on relationships rather than a beautiful home filled with expensive furniture.
JoAnn,
I am so glad you were blessed by this post. Thank you taking the time to let me know.
It is difficult sometimes to keep things in perspective. When I glance at our our window covered with sheet rock or poke my hand on the screws holding our back door together, it is easy to get frustrated. But our house is a gift, and my attitude is what makes it home.
It sounds like you know that, too. Don’t worry about having a showcase house. Continue to spend your time making special memories with your family.
[...] me so much. About repair, maintenance, and contentment. I no longer pine for the perfect house. The frustration of living in a fixer-upper has more rewards than just sweat [...]
[...] family tries to lives simply. We bought an ugly house and make lists of what we’ll fix someday. Dreaming about converting the garage and remodeling the [...]